Giving new meaning to the idea of judging a book by its cover, The Daily Mail has an (obviously) incredibly nuanced, thorough, and sensitive explanation of the Chinese practice of face reading, which analyzes facial expressions and features to deduce character traits about a person. Lucky for us, The DM broke down what your facial features say about your sex life, so let’s take a look at what we can learn about our sex life, faces, and not from your actual sex lives. It promises to be exceptionally enlightening.
. What do your lips and mouth say about your sex life?
A small mouth means you orgasm quickly. Cool? But you can do better–having a big mouth apparently makes you unselfish and prone to taking your time (especially on men). A wide mouth signals a dominant sex partner–you’re in charge. Having a fuller bottom lip means you’re a “sensual adventurer,” although you have issues with a wandering eye and aren’t known for your loyalty. Yikes.
. What do you eyes say about your sex life?
Having light colored eyes means that you are easily satisfied in the bedroom, but are more the love ’em and leave ’em type. On the other hand, dark eyes means you’re into “lots of intense, varied sex.”
. What do your eyebrows say about your sex life?
Well, if you have small, sparse brows, you apparently have “zero interest in sex,” however, having bushy full brows means you are “sexually excessive.” I think the latter sounds like more fun, but what do I know?
. What do your wrinkles/age lines say about your sex life?
Fine lines under the nose suggest that all you think about, ever, is sex. Your appetite is insatiable, and you can barely have a conversation without turning your attention to sexy thing. Additionally, small, thin lines under you eyes means you have “an enormous sexual appetite,” and you’re always ready to go. Apparently, having lines of any kind means you’re a real good sex person.
. What does your nose say about your sex life?
If you have what is referred to as a “snub nose”–apparently, “having a stubby and usually slightly turned-up nose” means that you like things traditional and romantic. You are not sexually adventurous. If your nose is bumpy (I’m a bit lost on that nuance), you’re super kinky and are down for all sex, all the time.
. So how do I stack up on this list? Well, let’s take a look at my dumb face.
I have both a bigger bottom lips and a big mouth , so that means I am both unselfish and adventurous while having issues monogamy. On that theme, my light eyes would suggest that I go through strings of sexual partners. I think my nose qualifies as “bumpy,” so I am both kinky and insatiable. My eyebrows are on the sparse side, so apparently despite all this, I have no sexual desire whatsoever. This is quite a lot to take in. How do you stack up?
Culled by: Vivieanne Danielle